Written by Member and Squash Captain Nigel Robinson.

Well, sports fans, another HUGE week in Tattss Squash!!! Grab a banana sundae and sit down to read this week’s magnificent sports report –  as at the end – we have a scoop for you !!!!

Tatts Thursday:

Last Thursday, the Tatts Thursday squash team consisting of Alex Shields, Dave Smith, Ollie Silverton and Marco Van Basten again put out on a commanding performance at the home of Australian Squash – Tattersalls Club on Elizabeth Street. Winning a convincing 4 rubbers to nil. The matches were hard fought, showcasing impressive skill, determination and sportsmanship from both sides, however, Tatts proved to be the faster – higher and stronger team on the day – not dropping a game. The decisive victory highlights the exceptional talent, teamwork, haircuts and triceps within this team (or so thinks ChatGPT).

Whilst on Tuesday it was a harder-fought match with the RBA team victorious over a gallant but overrun Tatts Wednesday team. Two games went down to the wire, but eventually, RBA and Sapporo Brewery were the winners on the night.

Nigel “Raptor” Robinson won in four, while Brian “The Ghost” Graham went down in a cliff hanger (all the way to the fifth).  Ryan “Foxtrot” Fletcher, and Peter “Destroyer” Dunoon, did their impressive best to reverse the earlier results, but RBA got the points on the night.

Meanwhile: earlier in the reporting cycle, in a brutal encounter, Tatts Tuesday beats Tatts Wednesday in the Michelle Martin Cup (a team event at Tattersalls Club Squash). The final of this long-standing, and traditional tournament will be an intriguing match-up between Tatts Tuesday and the up and coming machine like efficiency of the Tatts Thursday team – keep an eye out for that big match- coming our way soon!!!!!

Finally, sports fans, the news you have been waiting for, grab the ice cream sundaes!!!!!  The Heather McKay Shield. In an upset of EPIC proportions (and I for one NEVER thought I would write this) George “Golden Drop bear” Deubler is – wait for it – coming last in the A grade round robin (this may or may not be because he hasn’t played any matches and is in Europe as I write – but I digress…) and Nigel “Raptor” Robinson is currently the undefeated numero uno on the table.

Elite Athlete Games Played Games won
Nigel “Raptor” Robinson 2 2
Brian “The Ghost” Graham 1 0
Ollie “Titan” Tablow 1 0
Ben “Greatman” Griffith 0 0
Will “Hard Yards” Yeo 0 0
George “Golden Dropbear” Deubler 0 0

The question begs, can the Drop bear recover from this unique position – or is the hibernation permanent – only time will tell… and you will read it first in the Tatts Squash Report, where the excitement never ends.